Do you agree? Is this your definition of beauty ?

It is thoughtful but not tight. Learn to be concise and stop hedging. Get completely venerable and write it in the 1st person singular! Put it forth as Exposition and don't give a care about consensus. After all, that is what this is about...a little of your soul bleeding on the paper ...or screen in this instance. Courage lad! You may be our Shakespeare... after the honing of skills and another draft.