Why di I feel strange when I say?

I got married at 18 now I am 30 but I seem not to get use to saying ''My Husband" to anyone about my hubby.I was not not in love when I got married,I just had like a big crush on himalot of times now I can't stand him.I think he has menopause and I have Deppre.We have 2 kids and been 2gether since 1996.